This past week, the JAZ girls had a basketball tournament in Boracay, run by the ministry First Love International. I know, right? Ministry on one of the top five beaches in the world? What is my life?

It was such a good time – one of our teams won the championship, I scored two baskets for the first time ever, the girls had a blast, and we’ve spent some time bonding and doing devotions on the beach, going on walks, just joking, worshipping and being together. There’s one thing that we’ve done that sticks out above all the rest.

While out on the sailboat the one day, my friends Tiffany, Alison and I, with some of the girls, were caught in a rainstorm. Which isn’t very uncommon around here, I feel like, but this was my first time experiencing that. The whole time, all I could think of was 1. I really hope my girls don’t fall in. 2. I’m freezing cold. 3. Peter.

Not really the ‘typical’ aspects of the story where he walks on water (which are all marvelous – a man walking on water because of his faith, Jesus Christ is walking on water because He rules, we are capable of all things through Christ etc.) but about… Peter.

Peter didn’t have to step out of the boat. He was probably cold, and tired, worried, terrified, and a whole load of other emotions. It was storming, and he probably wanted to go home, curl up on the couch in sweatpants, a blanket and with some popcorn to watch a heartwarming movie. It was dangerous out, and there was physically no logical reason for him to even be at sea, let alone step out of the boat.

But he did.

And he, because of his faith, and desire to strive towards Christ, walked on water. As a human, he lost sight of Christ and sunk a few seconds later, but his doubt and failure meant nothing in comparison to the wonder Jesus used him for a few seconds before. If he hadn’t been crazy enough to step out of the boat and trust Jesus, to not stop to think about how it didn’t make sense, how it defied the laws of gravity, how he could fail, he never would have gotten to walk on water and see the Lord’s miracles in action.

That goes for all of us, too. I keep thinking “if I don’t work up the courage and faith to get out of the boat, I won’t get to walk on water.” That the Lord can only use me to do incredible things in His Name if I lose myself and climb over the side of the boat I’m in and onto the crashing waves where Jesus is calling out my name. And that’s crazy, and the world says that its silly and it doesn’t make sense, and it truly doesn’t. But God doesn’t need to make sense to us. Nothing about following God actually makes sense in humanities terms.

I feel like sometimes I use the excuse of ‘well, I actually was crazy enough to even get on the boat and go out to sea’ to define my relationship with Christ. I hide under the cover of my ministry and going all around the world and sacrificing sooooo much to make it seem like I’m super close to God and that my faith is so insane, when in reality it isn’t. Who would know, right? Because I’m only with a few other people out at sea and caught in a storm, so who knows if I actually got out of the boat or not? When really, my faith isn’t blind enough for me to willingly launch myself out of the boat and have my feet touch the waves. I don’t know about you, but I want that. I want to walk on water, for the Lord to use me for miracles in my everyday life. I want my faith to be so unbelievably insane that people are healed and the blind see and the lame walk.

When we were in the ferry port, I watched a bunch of my girls “step out of the boat” and talk to an old woman about Jesus. If they hadn’t gone into the realm of the unknown, they never would have been able to be used by God to share the truth with someone who didn’t know it. I was so proud of them, and so mind-blown at the faith of these girls, and the fact that they never once stopped to consider what the world might say of their actions. And it was a beautiful, beautiful thing.