Let me begin with saying that I received my annual sinus infection last Thursday, and that we had a Screens Fast instilled upon us this week (meaning they took every piece of technology we each own and locked it in a closet.) Now, keeping this in mind, listen to what I did this week.
Absolutely nothing.
I sat and stared at a wall. For hours. And hours. For days. And days. 8 days to be exact.
Me, the most impatient person in the world. Me, the kid who starts going early in the morning and doesn’t stop, forgets to eat, doesn’t slow down until 2 in the morning. Me, the kid who, if sitting alone doing nothing for 5 minutes will have a panic attack. That me, that Caitlinn Renée Curry, was too sick to go to ministry all week. Actually, I was too sick to even move from the chair I was sitting in. I, actually, was so sick I thought I was going to die, and I almost had to go to the hospital because, due to my sinus infection amongst other things, I became violently and uncontrollably ill.
Needless to say, the Caitlinn Renee Curry who cannot sit still for five minutes (shockingly) does not exist anymore.
This week, when there was literally nothing to do, nowhere to go, nowhere to escape, no music to listen to, no movies to watch, no mom to call, it was bloody hot, when I literally couldn’t do anything for myself, I was extremely humbled.
I was taught the importance of sitting and being silent, and patient. I sat and, completely content, stared at a wall repeating “they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength” over and over again, for four hours at a time. Sometimes, I wasn’t even thinking about anything at all. I was the epitome of pathetic, and miserable, shnacked and poor, and was convicted of seeing the joy of the Lord and the joy of life of even the crappiest of situations. I was thankful in the smallest of victories, humbled by the servant’s hearts of my team, and for another week, so broken within myself.
I don’t resent this week at all, or resent my sickness. I’m actually really glad for it. Through it all, I just kept trying to smile, kept trying to say thank you, kept trying to be patient on the Lord to renew my strength and my mind. I’ve learned a lot this week, despite having only sat and stared at a wall for an excessive amount of time while everyone else got to go out and do cool things, and I’ve gained a lot of patience, a new view of joy and serving others, a new understanding of how I need to control and conduct myself.
Ahh, the life of a Junior Varsity Missionary. If yall could pray for my girls; all 6 of us on Hadassah have been incredibly sick or excruciatingly injured this week. It would be greatly appreciated <3
I am so sorry you were so sick — and I hope I am correct in saying “were.” There is nothing worse that being so sick that you can’t function — I had a few week-long episodes of that myself last year. But it does offer you complete alone time with God. Sometimes I wonder if that’s why we go through those times — to humble us, make us stop and listen, make us take that precious time to focus on the Lord, time to count our blessings and pray for others. I was so sick at some points, though — I couldn’t pray, couldn’t think, couldn’t ‘do.’ Just sat & listened! Such difficult times to go through — but you do come out on the other side renewed! Thank God for those friends & family that pray for us during those times. And please know you and your team are in our prayers daily!! We’ll be praying for you and your friends’ health and complete renewal!!!
Ron will agree with you that God says be still and know that I am God. Love you and miss you greatly and still praying.
I will be praying for your health and strength.
I’m glad you’re feeling better and that you’re able to learn from all of your experiences, even the hard ones. Love you and praying for you and your girls! I love the name Hadassah! Our Bible Study is doing the Beth Moore study on Esther 🙂
Sickness 🙁 Reflecting on it and finding the good in it:) Glad you’re not still kicking! I know too well that being sick away from the comforts of home, whether its a sinus infection or whatever, feels like life is coming to an abrupt end. You and your team are in my prayers in this stretching time of sickness and getting back on your physical feet. Rest well and take care of yourself,
Love your blog!
Wow! Didn’t realize how much the Lord moved through you last week while you were sick during the screen fast. So much good that came from it though is great to hear! Love the new things God continues to teach you.