As many of you already know…. I. LOVE. MY. HAIR.
I LOVE MY CRAZY HAIR.
i love everything about it. i love all the different things i can do with it. i like having it super short on one side, and 5 inches longer on the other. i like spiking it. curling it. teasing it. i love everything about it. i love that no one else has my hairstyle. i love that its unique, and that it fits me.
i cant express how much i hear "you can tell how Caitlinn's feeling by how she does her hair" or "i can always tell where Caitlinn is because you cant miss her hair."
my hair is an expression of my personality. i love it love it love it. it sets me apart from the mainstream of society, something that God has called me as a Christian to do. be set apart. different for Him.
recently, ive had it pointed out…. i have to grow out my hair for my trip. i need ot be able to pull it back into a ponytail, and short, crazy hair may be offensive to people in Central America.
talk about heartbreak, right? i feel like Samson, only a little different. Samson's hair was his strength, his power. "If my head were shaved, my strength would leave me, and I would become weak as any other man" (Judges 16:17). thats how i feel. my hair defines me, sets me apart. i feel like, by growing out my hair, i lose my identity, almost like Samson.
of course, this isnt true. I am NOT defined by my hair, by my physical appearance. i am defined by the fact that my life is in Christ, and i believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that He died on the cross to save me from my sins. THAT is what sets me apart, and that should be enough for me.
my friends older brother is a Marine. he recently lost both of his legs in an IED explosion in afghanistan. the other day, he posted this on facebook….
But there IS a better reality. Christ is my reality. I owe him everything. So many times ive said, take everything I am. It's all for You. How much did I mean those words? Well… As far as I'm concerned, my service was for God and country. If my legs were the price, then so be it. I gave my legs doing something I loved for my country, for God, and the people I love. No, it hasnt been easy and yes, I would rather have legs than not. But its not up to me. Yes, I miss having my feet to dance on. I miss the walk and slip and turn and slide, the rock and twist and sweep and hop. Dancing was something I loved doing, whether people were watching or not. Who cares if people are watchin? I wasnt dancing for them.. I danced for the love of it.
Anyway, there are a lot of other things I can't do anymore, but that's not what matters. What matters is that there are people around you who are hurting too.. They're in the darkest places of life… Praise God I can offer them the light of Christ."
Tim gave up his LEGS for the kingdom of God, and here i sit, panicking that i have to grow out my hair for a year?! what the?! what the heck is WRONG with me!!!?!??!?!? there is SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE than being concerned with growing out my hair. IM GOING ON MISSIONS FOR A YEAR. THATS AN AMAZING BLESSING AND OPPORTUNITY. WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME!?!?!?
Romans 6:13 says "Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God."
ive realized that me being upset about my hair is me being vain. me letting myself become a sin, when God made me in His own image and didnt intend for me to bear the burden of sin. i am beautiful, with or without my hair, because God made me in His own image. GOD defines me. GOD ALONE.
and if Jesus gave up His LIFE for the kingdom of God, and Tim gave up his legs…. I can most certainly give up my hair. hair grows back, hair can be cut. hair, is just HAIR.
and so my dear friends, i am growing out my hair.
