Vulnerability.

There’s so much beauty in that word, and yet it’s such a stressful concept. Who wants their insecurities to be seen? Who wants the things they hate most about themselves brought into the light for the world to stare at? Who wants attention drawn to the things they can’t control and are extraordinarily close to their heart? The answer is no one.

In Bethel this week, I went with a few of my friends to the house of a man who’s been given two months to live. The men here who work in the sugarcane fields often contract a fatal kidney disease that leaves them in constant pain, and unable to work in the fields or anywhere else. His name is Felix, and he’s been saved for 11 years. He has a 22 year old son who, sadly enough, also works in the sugarcane industry, and 16 and 9 year old beautiful daughters, a wife, and 12 siblings. Una familia muy grande y hermosa.

As soon as the family saw we were walking up, they rushed to put chairs in a circle for us to sit, sacrificing where they were sitting to let a bunch of teenage kids come and sit in their yard for a few hours. In Nicaragua, it’s completely normal to walk up to someone’s house, yell “hola! Con permiso?” and sit down for a chat that may include a lot of awkward silence that’s culturally not that awkward. People, who have nothing in comparison to us, who willingly sacrifice what they have for a bunch of total strangers. The community of the people here blows my mind.

Felix is a great, great man of God. I was convicted by the strength of his faith, his confidence in the Lord, his sheer excitement at knowing he’s going to Heaven, by his love and adoration for his family, his ability to praise God in the midst of such weakness, that there was not an ounce of being ashamed of what was happening to him, his vulnerability and openness to share his hardest struggle with a bunch of gringos, rich white kids from a different culture, complete strangers who don’t understand his language, let alone his life.

It made me think. How vulnerable am I? What are my biggest insecurities? My prides? Jesus Christ was so real, so vulnerable, so open and willing – he was the son of God but wasn’t ashamed by being tempted and being wholly man as well. He took no pride in the fact that He was 100 percent God. He was willing to give up everything, and be vulnerable to the point of letting others humiliate Him by beating the crap out of Him, mocking Him and scoffing at Him, hanging Him publically on a cross to die like a criminal. He sacrificed all He had for those around Him, and gave His Father the all the glory, in the midst of the worst trials.

I found myself broken and humbled by Felix and his family. These things seem to be a reoccurring theme in my life. And you know what? His life and struggle, and my broken heart, my pain at such things – these are beautiful. Jesus Christ’s vulnerability and sacrifice was the most beautiful thing that ever happened to this world. The Lord honors my brokenness and vulnerability, and Felix’s as well. The Lord honors when we sacrifice our insecurities and prides to Him and use them to bring His Name glory and to more wholly love His people.

What does that look like for you? what are your insecurities? Your prides? What do you need to sacrifice to make yourself more vulnerable, to bring yourself one step closer to God and His will for your life?

I challenge you.

Do it.

Look deep within yourself.

Let it go.

No matter how bad it sucks.

Let yourself be broken so that the glory of the Lord shines from your face.

Just do it.